{august 25, 2009}

~tuesday~

Today, tonight, right this very second, I decided that even if I didn't take a picture today. This really is about journaling and keeping a record of this year. So, whether I have a picture or not, I'm going to journal. I'm way too behind, because I'm always so worried about getting the pictures up, but then I forget the real feelings and happenings of the day.

It's been a rough couple of weeks. I've been on this emotional roller coaster, and it's been exhausting to say the least. I'm hoping that things are going to level out, but it's possible things will stay the same. Once again, I am in awe at my children. I try to be strong for them and give them the support they need. Occasionally, however, they are my support, and they humble me with their Christ-like love. Tess has always had a tender heart and she has matured so much since Mark died. I know she still has fun and is able to be a child with imagination and play, but she has a heart that puts mine to shame sometimes. On monday, I had had an exceptionally emotional day. Not really sure why, but I was still a mess as I left for the Open House at the high school. When I got home, I found these two letters on my bed, and the tears flowed. Tess had helped Lucas write me a note, and he colored a picture on the back of "mommies sad face". Knife to my heart! Then the sweet words of my darling Tess...she has so much love to give and such a love for life. I'm gonna kick myself someday if I don't treasure her and adore her even more than I already do.