{august 27, 2009}

~thursday~
Okay, so the day didn't start out with me making breakfast, but yesterday when I made Belgian Waffles, I froze extras for today. My kids still think I'm great. Today we had a professional dancer, he's the son of a lady in our ward, come to our church and teach us how to Salsa and Samba. This video is of the Cha Cha style of dance. The class/dancing/workout was amazing! I felt like a fool trying to do the moves of this dance, but it was most definitely a workout! I'm sore in places I didn't realize even had a muscle...LOL! I was glad for this workout, because then I was lucky enough to go meet my sister, her husband, my brother and his new wife at this awesome little Italian Restaurant called Roma Garden. The food was more than yummy...I've already dreamed about going back to have the dish my sister and her husband ate. With the salsa dance workout and the pasta, "Just roll me to my bed and leave me be."

This is a strange phenomena to me. I'm positive that we've had hotter days than today by almost 7 degrees, yet today seemed exceptionally HOT! Just like in Utah where I remember getting tired of the cold, I'm getting tired of the hot. The only difference is that the cold goes on for months after you've had enough. At least the heat isn't going to continue another 2-3 months. I hope.

{august 26, 2009}

~wednesday~

Would love to re-do my kitchen like this!

Today was one of those days that you look back on at the end of the day and wish like crazy everyday could be like that. Actually made breakfast for my kids today. Yeah...okay...I know that probably drops me down on the "Best Mom Meter" but that's why I said a day like today is what I WISH it could be like everyday. Most of the day was just filled with being really productive, which lately has been very elusive for me. I'm certainly not trying to blame all this on losing Mark, but being a single parent (not by choice) is very lonely and harder than I'd like to admit. My dear friend is helping me organize. We made a plan and headed out to IKEA to get some things to use for organization. Had fun. Took the longest route to and from the store and it's not close as it is. Thank heaven for good company. Taking care of other aspects of my life and feeling happier about the direction of things as the day comes to a close. I hope tomorrow will continue on with the same energy and attitude. Crossing my fingers.

{august 25, 2009}

~tuesday~

Today, tonight, right this very second, I decided that even if I didn't take a picture today. This really is about journaling and keeping a record of this year. So, whether I have a picture or not, I'm going to journal. I'm way too behind, because I'm always so worried about getting the pictures up, but then I forget the real feelings and happenings of the day.

It's been a rough couple of weeks. I've been on this emotional roller coaster, and it's been exhausting to say the least. I'm hoping that things are going to level out, but it's possible things will stay the same. Once again, I am in awe at my children. I try to be strong for them and give them the support they need. Occasionally, however, they are my support, and they humble me with their Christ-like love. Tess has always had a tender heart and she has matured so much since Mark died. I know she still has fun and is able to be a child with imagination and play, but she has a heart that puts mine to shame sometimes. On monday, I had had an exceptionally emotional day. Not really sure why, but I was still a mess as I left for the Open House at the high school. When I got home, I found these two letters on my bed, and the tears flowed. Tess had helped Lucas write me a note, and he colored a picture on the back of "mommies sad face". Knife to my heart! Then the sweet words of my darling Tess...she has so much love to give and such a love for life. I'm gonna kick myself someday if I don't treasure her and adore her even more than I already do.

{august 12, 2009}

~wednesday~


I can say without a doubt that I have experienced things in the last few years that have made it very clear how Heavenly Father can take my burdens. I have to admit however that when I'm feeling so confused and lost and like I want to run away and hide in cave, it's hard for me to REMEMBER to lay my burdens at His feet. Well last night as I finished the day feeling all those negative feelings, I remembered! I didn't know what else to do but turn it over to Him, and have faith that He would take care of it. So let me tell you about today. I didn't wake up feeling peaceful and have this amazing answer pop into my head that solved all my problems. No...I still woke up feeling lost and frustrated. I had to pray constantly today just to keep calm. I wanted to take action. I wanted to DO something that would fix it. (I wish eating this Dilly Bar would have been the fix, but alas, it was not. It tasted great, but the problem still existed.) I was having a hard time being patient. I wanted the answer or the fix now. I like to control my life, so this was extremely vexing for me. Well, as the day unfolded small little things happened that finally resulted in a culminating experience that had me sitting in awe and peace as the day came to an end. It wasn't an easy ride. I wish I didn't have to have days like this, and yet I have to say I'm grateful. Grateful for His love for me and His patience. I'm grateful for friends that play their part in bringing the plan together. I'm grateful for those who were inspired to call me and inspired in what they said. I wish I could remember this experience every day, but I know I won't. Isn't this why we have to go through things over and over. We need the practice to become closer to perfect. I am being perfected every day. I know I'll never be perfect, but that's why the Savior's gift is so important.

~ Be still, and know that I am God. ~
Psalms 46:10